Why are you so irrational?

How many times have you heard that, or even said it to others, in times of disagreement? Or its close relative, "Why can't you just be normal"?

But what is rational or normal? We might assume it's the most reasonable behavior, attitude, action etc that would be chosen by a computer - or even Star Trek's Mr. Spock - given all available information about the situation. But it isn't that simple. Sure, computers can make decisions given a set of inputs - however, they only base their decisions upon the program their running. Switch the program and the decision comes out different!

In reality there's no such thing as normal or rational. Only what's right for you. And since you're a unique individual that's likely to be different to what's right for someone else.

So what makes our individuality? It's a mixture of hard-wiring (genetics or how we're born) and upbringing (the environment in which we grew up). That said, our character never stops being made, we are affected by every experience throughout our lives. Usually these later experiences have an ever-so-subtle effect, but dramatic events can have a major influence, eg bereavement, being let down by someone you trusted completely...

Spirit individuates in physical form in order to broaden its experience. Everyone's basic character is determined (by them) before they are born. And everyone is different because if we were all the same life would be pointless. Experience comes only from the infinite variations arising from the interactions between diverse players.

The problem is that society has developed in such a way that sameness is valued more than difference. It pressures everyone to conform to the norm,  to buy the latest fashions or little plastic gadgets, to behave rationally.

Stop beating yourself up if you happen to think / act a little differently to the crowd. Don't try to be what you're not, be proud of who you are. And once you're able to respect yourself, extend it to others. Never condemn anyone for not being rational or normal or not matching your particular view of how they ought to be. The world's big enough for us all, and all the better for our differences.

No Comments on Why are you so irrational?

Judgment

"Judge not lest you be judged" said Lord Jesus, along with, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”

These two admonitions are among the most quoted but least heeded of the great Master's teachings.

We inhabit a culture of blame. When something goes wrong, as it inevitably does in this flawed realm, we immediately seek the villain / culprit / scapegoat to demonize. As though by framing another we somehow absolve ourselves from any responsibility.

Human society revolves around evermore complex laws. No doubt these have their origins in the noble aim of protecting individuals from one another and creating a secure environment where each is encouraged to perform to their best in the knowledge they shall be able to enjoy the fruits of their endeavors.

Indeed there should be disincentives for willfully destructive behavior, and individuals should accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions. Where one wrongs another so the wrongdoer should compensate the wronged. But that should be that. Today's judgment obsession has become an out-of-control monster that frequently holds back progress.

Some religious extremists teach that those who sin shall burn in hell for all eternity. This is not so. God (or Spirit) does not judge, in seeking to punish. God only evaluates in order to further our evolution. The lessons we fail, ie our errors and "sins", must be re-taken, or re-presented in a different way. God does not seek retribution, for not only are we of God, but we each of us are part of God. And why would God to harm His very self...

We are born to experience, we live to learn. We are imperfect. We make mistakes as we go, as do others. But mistakes, and misfortunes, are the very source of our learning and growth.

When something goes wrong, instead of making blame and retribution the priority, wouldn't we be better asking what can be learned? How can we do better next time? Rather than focusing on who should be hung out to dry.

The other side of the judgment coin is forgiveness. And the Lord's Prayer admonishes: "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". Easy words, but true forgiveness is just about the hardest thing to do. The great tragedy is that failure to forgive harms us at least as much as it does the object of our grudge. If you can't forgive, seek at least to let go that which is passed.

We all have rights; the right to exist, the right to fulfill our potential, the right to happiness... We naturally feel aggrieved when those rights are impeded. And it's OK to fight for those rights. But don't let the judgment of others become an obsession for it's own sake.

No Comments on Judgment

What is Spiritualism?

In a nutshell, Spiritualism is the belief (or to Spiritualists, the knowledge) that individual consciousness survives the death of the physical body and, under certain circumstances, is able to communicate with those who remain physically alive.

Although often credited to Emanuel Swedenborg, Spiritualism took off in 1848 when sisters Kate and Margaret Fox of Hydesville New York began to experience rappings that were attributed to the Spirit of a murdered peddler. Though debate continues as to the authenticity of the Fox sisters' phenomena, the momentum started by their "experiences" created a worldwide movement that continues to this day. (more…)

Why Life Sucks

Why does life suck? This is a question many of us ask at some time or another. Actually life doesn't really suck, but it can certainly feel that way sometimes.

Wouldn't it be great if everything ran smooth all the time, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed? Wouldn't it be great to land our dream job, doing what we love and large paycheck to boot? Wouldn't it be great if all our relationships ran smoothly, if our partner understood and respected our innermost feelings?

In fact, it wouldn't be so great at all. It might be nice for a little while, but pretty soon it would feel dull as dishwater. What's more, we wouldn't be fulfilling our true purpose in being born into this world, ie to learn and grow.

Many Spiritual philosophies tell that we choose our life path and lessons to be learned before we are born. Though we have free will on earth the choices we made appear throughout our lives.

It's true; some people have harder lives than others. But that is because they chose to experience those things.

Why would anyone choose hardship? Because in facing, defying, and overcoming adversity we gain much more experience than we ever could from plain sailing. Life is short - just think of a human lifespan compared to the age of the earth. When we eventually return home it isn't the inflated bank account, big houses and flashy cars that we carry with us. It is the lessons we learned throughout the adventure of incarnation.

Keeping the above in mind will give you the strength to keep going through the dark days when life really does appear to suck.

Perhaps it’s an issue of self-esteem. You've done something you feel bad about. Rest assured, to be human is to err. We've all done things that with the benefit of hindsight we wouldn't have done. None of us can reverse time. But we can resolve to do more right than wrong, more good than harm in future. And that is our raison d'etre, our purpose to not only continue but continue full speed ahead rather than decrying life's hardships. If we are here it is because we, and Spirit (God) have chosen that we are here and we have a duty to make the best of what is really a golden opportunity.

Human nature is such that we tend to notice only those things that trouble us or fail to meet our approval. How often do we wake in the morning and appreciate how good we feel? Probably not often enough. But if we happen to feel slightly under the weather we notice it like hell. If a business or service falls short of our expectations we are quick to complain, but how many of us bother to show our appreciation for a job well done? It's just the way we are.

It may be a cliché, but counting your blessings really can really be an eye opener when life seems to suck. Sit down somewhere quiet, pour yourself a drink and put on your favorite music. Now write down what's troubling you. Then take a new sheet of paper and write down all the positives in our life. You should find there are many more positives than negatives. Look again at your troubles and it should be easier to find solutions, or at least appropriate courses of action, for each of them.

No Comments on Why Life Sucks

Just Do It!

John Greenleaf Whittier said: "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"

There are two kinds of regret, regret for things you've done, and regret for things you haven't. By far the worse is the regret for opportunities missed.

We only get one crack at life, in our present body and circumstances anyhow. Though possessed of free will we almost carry a God-given duty to make the best of our time on earth. No matter how rich or powerful they may be, nobody gets the chance to re-live time.

I always remember my father speaking of the things he wanted to achieve. Though he led a full life, many remained undone when he was eventually overtaken by illness and passed away. Perhaps if, instead of procrastination, he'd just gone out and done them his life would have been that bit fuller still...

It can be tempting to follow the safety and security of the well-trodden path, inactivity is easier than action and no one ever got fired for buying IBM and all that. Building dreams is a noble endeavor, but if they remain idle fantasy then they are nothing but costly distraction. By never venturing out of one's comfort zone, how much potential experience do we miss?

Sure, risks and adventures can go "wrong". But equally surely no adventure ever leaves its participants untouched by experience. And isn't that why we're all here, to experience, learn and grow.

I'm not advocating impulsive, random behavior - though even that has its place in experience accumulation. What I'm saying is that after making a choice - with one's heart and head - we must then take the plunge and carry it out. For whatever we find through the doors of choice our wealth of experience will certainly grow.

No Comments on Just Do It!

What's Your Mission?

Do you have a purpose or mission in life? Or rather, do you know your life's mission or purpose?

We all have a reason for being alive. In fact we choose our particular mission in the realm of Spirit before we are born. Unfortunately, once faced with life's many challenges and distractions we all too easily forget our raison d'etre.

Life is like a journey. If you don't know where you're trying to get, how do you expect to get there? How do you even know which direction to set off in? You wouldn't start your car's engine without knowing where you were going and having at least a vague idea of the route. So why live life without a similar plan?

Often life is just a struggle to survive. Can we make enough money to pay the mortgage and put food on the table? Can we play the games well enough to keep our jobs, or even get a raise?

Our needs form a hierarchy, with the necessities of food and shelter sitting at the bottom. We need to satisfy these before we can turn our attention to higher ideals. Unfortunately, society too is hierarchical, and unless you occupy a place near the top it's very difficult to rise above the satisfaction of basic needs.

But in the struggle to stay afloat we lose sight of our mission, our core values. But by spending a short time identifying your purpose you can become more effective at meeting the basics and have more time, energy and enthusiasm to spend on fulfilling that mission.

Identifying your purpose

Identifying your purpose is easier than it sounds because it already exists, as defined by ourselves. Set aside some quiet time and ask yourself what's really important to you. Just brainstorm. Jot down everything that comes into your head at first, without attempting to evaluate. Often the things we're naturally best at or instinctively drawn to give a clue to our purpose. But occasionally our mission might be to overcome the difficulties relating to the things we're not good at.

Only when the ideas stop flowing should you attempt to make sense of your thoughts. In a couple of hours or less you ought to come up with a list of a dozen or so points that from then on should take priority.

It's become fashionable for corporations to publish their "mission statements," a list defining their reasons for being and the values they observe in the process. You might want to write your own personal mission statement. Once written this will form the basis of all your thoughts, actions and decision-making. Every decision you make should be weighed against your mission. Sometimes you'll need to compromise, but at least your pragmatism will be guided by reason.

It's a good idea to review your personal mission once or twice a year. Even though your core mission and values will remain constant throughout life, there may in the light of experience be some subtle changes in the way these are expressed, or the identification of new goals as preceding ones are satisfied.

This article was inspired by The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.

No Comments on What's Your Mission?

The Role of Sacrifice

At times it can seem like our sole purpose on earth is to serve others. We have responsibility to our children, our spouse, our parents, our friends, our community... The list is endless. If we put ourselves ahead of others we are frequently judged as selfish and feel the obligatory guilt.

It can be overwhelming, but let's try to put the role of sacrifice into perspective.

In the famous words of John Donne "No man is an island". We are all part of one great whole, and all interdependent upon one another for our continued existence and wellbeing. Though we have responsibility towards others, also throughout our lives others will have responsibility and make sacrifices for us.

As infants we all needed the care and nurture of our parents, else we would not be here today. In old age or failing health we may also be reliant on others. We continue to benefit from the help of others every day.

But that isn't to say it's wrong to pursue our own ambitions. It's absolutely right, and in fact it's the very purpose of our being. If no one sought to fulfill their individual potential humanity could not have made the incredible progress it has. Just as we have duty to others so we also have duty to ourself to be the best we possibly can.

Total sacrifice and complete selfishness are opposite ends of a continuum. Neither end is a desirable place to be, the former involves allowing our innate potential to wither and die, the latter inevitably means taking without putting back and the eventual isolation that will certainly follow when there is no more to take and no one left who is willing to give.

Instead we must find a position somewhere in the middle of the self-others continuum. We must fulfill our responsibilities as a Spiritual being and (temporary) incarnate member of the human race. We must fulfil our duties to our loved ones and fellow beings. But we must recognize there is a limit to what we can give to others and if we don't seek to fulfill our own potential the amount we can give will also be reduced.

Don't be afraid of ambition, or trying your best. It is why you are here. But also keep some room in your heart and mind for others.

No Comments on The Role of Sacrifice

The Secret (law of attraction)

The Secret is a recent movie and book by Rhonda Bryan that claims to reveal the secret to a happy, healthy, wealthy and fulfilled life. Bryan draws on the words of some of the finest Spiritual and inspirational teachers in support of the Secret, which is basically the law of attraction.

The universe is likened to some great catalog ordering service. All you have to do is place your order, for whatever you want, by thinking about it with feeling and acting in the belief it's already in your possession. Amazingly the universe hears your request and pulls out all the stops to satisfy it.

Your thoughts and feelings are a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you feel good, you will be sent more to feel good about. If you think life sucks, it will. So all you need to do is change your way of thinking.

The Secret is fine so far as it goes. Positive thinking and feeling is pretty well necessary for any kind of success. You can be the world's greatest player, but if your mind isn't right you will under-perform and likely lose.

To my mind the danger of the Secret is that it continually implies that right thought and feeling are sufficient for success.

Let me explain why (I believe) that view is flawed.

There are only limited resources in the world. If everyone asks for a billion dollars and 20-room house on a huge lot. Some people will be disappointed, even though they follow all the "rules".

Additionally, life isn't about material acquisitions, it's about having experience - both positive and negative. If success comes just by thinking about it, who's gonna do any work, who's gonna learn anything?

And as most of life's lessons come from difficulties, if we wish our difficulties away altogether, won't life become pointless?

I'd recommend anyone to watch/read the Secret. I'd recommend anyone to put its lessons into practice. But I'd recommend they are put into practice alongside a practical action plan designed to get you from where you are now to where you wanna be.

No Comments on The Secret (law of attraction)

Reading the Signs

Before birth our soul chooses, with the help of others, the purpose for its forthcoming incarnation. It may be to learn certain lessons, or it may be to do certain work upon the earth plane, or perhaps to play a role in the journey of (an)other(s).

Once born we are gifted the amazing faculty of free will - the power to choose our destiny. Though we should recognize that free will is limited by external circumstances. A bit like a dog going for a walk on an extending lead. The owner dictates the overall route of the walk (we set our life purpose before birth), allowing the dog more or less freedom at various points along the way (our free will).

Once born our chosen purpose, like knowledge of our Spiritual nature, is excluded from our conscious mind. However evidence of both can be glimpsed along the way.

It may be that we do have a strong inner sense of the direction we should take. We are drawn to a particular career, or location, or people. We are just comfortable taking that road. Or it may be that certain, similar, chances present themselves again and again despite our previous rejections.

Living effectively, and ultimately most fulfilling, is often a matter of recognizing (and heeding) the signs along the way. "Swim with the tide", or "go with the flow" are common expressions of this.

If we try something with doubt and find things just fall into place effortlessly, that is the road we should follow. If we find we keep bumping into a certain idea without actively seeking it out, we ought to read the signs and pursue it further.

Similarly, if our best efforts continually meet with disappointment and frustration we ought to accept that endeavor is not for us. (That's not to say we should quit after a single setback, or even after many so long as progress is being made).

The physical universe exists for the sole purpose of making our incarnation possible and worthwhile. It will assist our journey, if only we keep our antennae open to its messages.

No Comments on Reading the Signs

Drawing close to Spirit

New Age Spirituality is a reaction against the materialism of modern society. You graduate college, get a career, accumulate wealth, get a big house, fast car... And that’s what it’s all about. Or is it?

These things can bring satisfaction, but the trouble with material wealth is you can never have enough of it. The more you get, the more you want. And the more you worry about losing what you have.

I’m not saying wealth isn’t important. To a degree. But once you’ve met the basics of food and shelter its importance rapidly diminishes. That’s why so many feel disillusioned and seek answers in the far from new movement of the new age.

Spirituality is about rediscovering what we really are. In truth we are all Spiritual beings, temporarily occupying a physical body. We are on a journey. The journey into flesh is one of discovery, experience and growth.

The realization that materialism is NOT our main purpose is the understanding of a major lesson. It is also the recognition of, and desire to reconnect with, our true Spiritual nature.

When we are born into this world we forget that we are essentially Spirit. This amnesia is intentional, for if we knew this from the beginning we would find it hard/impossible to focus on our journey upon the earth plane. Part of our purpose is to rediscover the Spirit within.

Modern life is a busy and complex experience with seemingly endless stimuli all vying for our finite attention. Family, work, community... the demands are endless, though each brings its own satisfaction and rewards. But in the face of endless demands how can we connect with our Spiritual self and the realm of Spirit beyond?

It is easy. Spirit isn’t someplace else, but all around. All that needs to happen is i) we need to become a little more open to its reality, and ii) Spirit needs to respond to our openness by making itself felt by us. Though it’s easy it does require an effort of will. Our will power, or ability to assert our unique preferences is one of the clues of our Spirituality. Automata have no will!

We need to set aside some “me” time. That is time when we consciously disconnect from the demands of our physical existence. Disconnect the phone. Send the family off to a movie. Hang a “do not disturb” notice on the door. This time is for you, and you alone.

Nature is a great healer and wonderful for bringing us closer to Spirit. If you’re lucky enough to live near the sea or countryside, take a walk. Even in the city, you’re probably close to a park or other green space.

Art is a doorway to the world of Spirit. Get some art books from the library and observe them closely. Listen to some music, maybe classical or new age, but whatever takes your fancy is fine.

Exercise your will. Change your routine. We are creatures of habit, because we are basically lazy and habit is easy. Try a different newspaper, a different route to work. Read a different kind of book. Whatever, just so long as it forces your mind off auto-pilot.

Learn to relax. Modern life is extremely demanding upon our mental resources. You must be able to switch off the constant noise and put it to one side.

If you’re lucky you may get a physical apparition of someone in Spirit, or  clairaudience, the hearing of Spirit voices. Be open to the ways in which Spirit manifests, eg dreams and coincidences. Perhaps you’ll just get an awareness or feeling that you’re part of something much bigger.

And if at first you don’t succeed, try , try again. Our Spiritual awareness is purposely erased before we are born and it can be very hard to regain. You can draw some comfort at least from the fact you suspect its existence and you are trying to consciously re-connect.

No Comments on Drawing close to Spirit