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A few years ago an (irritatingly) catchy little tune called Don’t Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin was going the rounds. Once heard it took ages to get out of your head. But within that simple song lies a profound message; we spend way too much time worrying.

The thing about worrying is that no good ever comes of it. Worry dissipates your energies, diverting them from more constructive use. As we’ve got better at curing physical illness so it seems mental illnesses such as stress, depression, anxiety (essentially all aliases for worry) have expanded to fill the gap. And of course these conditions adversely affect physical health.

But even worse than that, worry is a form of thought. And as countless teachers have told thoughts are very powerful things. They tend to manifest themselves in reality. So by worrying, you actually serve to create the very thing you are worried about!

If something is bothering you all the worry in the world isn’t going to help (and will most likely harm). Whatever it may be – money, work, relationships, kids, health, family… DO something about it. If the problem is money, start planning and budgeting a little better; if it’s work, start checking the job ads or consider something more radical like self-employment or re-training; if it’s health, eat healthy, exercise and follow the doctor’s orders…

Sit quietly, take a few deep breaths, analyze what’s wrong and what you can do about it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help through prayer, or even from those you trust.

In most situations you’ll have a choice of potential actions (including simply doing nothing and letting what will be just be). And for each, since we can’t see the future, a range of possible outcomes – including the best, worst and most likely.

You’ll now be empowered by knowledge. Decide what you’re going to do. Then do it. And stop worrying, because you KNOW that you’ve done the best you could in the circumstances, and whatever happens you KNOW that you couldn’t have done any better.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

Think back to childhood. I’m pretty sure you worried then too. Perhaps you forgot to revise for a class test, or maybe you got dropped from the football team, or your best friend didn’t want to let you in a game… At the time didn’t it seem the biggest problem in the world, but looking back don’t your childhood worries seem inconsequential? And that’s how today’s worries will seem when reviewed in the world of Spirit. So stop worrying and be happy.

How many times have you heard that, or even said it to others, in times of disagreement? Or its close relative, “Why can’t you just be normal”?

But what is rational or normal? We might assume it’s the most reasonable behavior, attitude, action etc that would be chosen by a computer – or even Star Trek’s Mr. Spock – given all available information about the situation. But it isn’t that simple. Sure, computers can make decisions given a set of inputs – however, they only base their decisions upon the program their running. Switch the program and the decision comes out different!

In reality there’s no such thing as normal or rational. Only what’s right for you. And since you’re a unique individual that’s likely to be different to what’s right for someone else.

So what makes our individuality? It’s a mixture of hard-wiring (genetics or how we’re born) and upbringing (the environment in which we grew up). That said, our character never stops being made, we are affected by every experience throughout our lives. Usually these later experiences have an ever-so-subtle effect, but dramatic events can have a major influence, eg bereavement, being let down by someone you trusted completely…

Spirit individuates in physical form in order to broaden its experience. Everyone’s basic character is determined (by them) before they are born. And everyone is different because if we were all the same life would be pointless. Experience comes only from the infinite variations arising from the interactions between diverse players.

The problem is that society has developed in such a way that sameness is valued more than difference. It pressures everyone to conform to the norm,  to buy the latest fashions or little plastic gadgets, to behave rationally.

Stop beating yourself up if you happen to think / act a little differently to the crowd. Don’t try to be what you’re not, be proud of who you are. And once you’re able to respect yourself, extend it to others. Never condemn anyone for not being rational or normal or not matching your particular view of how they ought to be. The world’s big enough for us all, and all the better for our differences.

Why does life suck? This is a question many of us ask at some time or another. Actually life doesn’t really suck, but it can certainly feel that way sometimes.

Wouldn’t it be great if everything ran smooth all the time, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed? Wouldn’t it be great to land our dream job, doing what we love and large paycheck to boot? Wouldn’t it be great if all our relationships ran smoothly, if our partner understood and respected our innermost feelings?

In fact, it wouldn’t be so great at all. It might be nice for a little while, but pretty soon it would feel dull as dishwater. What’s more, we wouldn’t be fulfilling our true purpose in being born into this world, ie to learn and grow.

Many Spiritual philosophies tell that we choose our life path and lessons to be learned before we are born. Though we have free will on earth the choices we made appear throughout our lives.

It’s true; some people have harder lives than others. But that is because they chose to experience those things.

Why would anyone choose hardship? Because in facing, defying, and overcoming adversity we gain much more experience than we ever could from plain sailing. Life is short – just think of a human lifespan compared to the age of the earth. When we eventually return home it isn’t the inflated bank account, big houses and flashy cars that we carry with us. It is the lessons we learned throughout the adventure of incarnation.

Keeping the above in mind will give you the strength to keep going through the dark days when life really does appear to suck.

Perhaps it’s an issue of self-esteem. You’ve done something you feel bad about. Rest assured, to be human is to err. We’ve all done things that with the benefit of hindsight we wouldn’t have done. None of us can reverse time. But we can resolve to do more right than wrong, more good than harm in future. And that is our raison d’etre, our purpose to not only continue but continue full speed ahead rather than decrying life’s hardships. If we are here it is because we, and Spirit (God) have chosen that we are here and we have a duty to make the best of what is really a golden opportunity.

Human nature is such that we tend to notice only those things that trouble us or fail to meet our approval. How often do we wake in the morning and appreciate how good we feel? Probably not often enough. But if we happen to feel slightly under the weather we notice it like hell. If a business or service falls short of our expectations we are quick to complain, but how many of us bother to show our appreciation for a job well done? It’s just the way we are.

It may be a cliché, but counting your blessings really can really be an eye opener when life seems to suck. Sit down somewhere quiet, pour yourself a drink and put on your favorite music. Now write down what’s troubling you. Then take a new sheet of paper and write down all the positives in our life. You should find there are many more positives than negatives. Look again at your troubles and it should be easier to find solutions, or at least appropriate courses of action, for each of them.