Spiritual Parenting
abracad, · Categories: self help, spiritualityBeing a parent is probably the greatest privilege, and responsibility, we can have during our earth life. A new born baby is a paradox. The Spirit within that helpless bundle is ancient, but its earthly incarnation is a blank page waiting to be written upon by its experiences, with the earliest experiences carrying the greatest influence throughout its life.
Before birth our Spirit decides, along with our guides, what circumstances we will be born into and what lessons we will seek during this particular lifetime. And then we find ourselves upon earth, the knowledge of our true Spiritual nature temporarily obscured so that we might best fulfill our chosen purpose. Life is the ultimate experience of learning by discovery.
Take time to get to know your child, and each one – even identical twins – is different. Be careful not to impose your ideas and values upon them, but to allow them to express their own innate personality. This is their Spiritual essence and should be nurtured with respect.
Our children are not our possessions. They are not some kind of extension of ourselves through which we can fix the errors of our lives and fulfill our unfulfilled dreams. Neither are they our meal ticket into old age to be expected to provide and care for us in our senior years. Every child is a unique individual soul, with the divine right to make its own way upon the earth according to its own will and purpose. As parents our job is that of facilitator, to best equip our children to make that way as easily as possible.
Each child is born with an innate character, as determined by those pre-birth choices. But that character is molded by its earliest experiences, and most powerfully by the models it is presented with. You may or may not consider yourself a role model, but that is exactly what you are to your children. What we model is what they will perceive as normality; eg if we show anger, then anger is what they will present to the world. By far the greatest model we can present to our children is that of love. If we show them love, no matter what has happened, then we create the greatest chance of a future world filled with love.
Good parenting is about presenting your children with as wide a range of opportunities as possible to allow them to find and develop their particular strengths and interests. It’s not about imposing your interests upon them, and that will sometimes mean making sacrifices on your part, eg if you love soccer but your child shows a passion for piano then you must indulge that passion.
Parents also carry the responsibility of instilling into their offspring some kind of moral code. This is not easy as concepts of right and wrong vary from society to society, era to era, and individual to individual; and indeed your child’s view of morality may differ from your own – that’s fine, so long as they at least have a considered view of morality. But as a lowest common denominator tolerance and respect for our fellow beings is a worthy start. Encourage youngsters to see both sides of situations by placing themselves in each player’s position.
Successful parenting is finding a balance between protection and preparation. If we place our children on a pedestal as “little emperorsâ€, pandering to their every desire, we do them a great disservice, for they will be left utterly unable to cope in a world they find does not revolve around them and frequently contains individuals out to exploit them. Similarly, if they are given no guidance in acceptable behavior, they will be unable to adjust to society’s norms and may well find themselves on the wrong side of the law or commonly accepted standards of conduct.
Tragically, much of the world’s conflict and suffering is due to differences between religions, and even different interpretations of the same religions. Those enlightened souls who founded the world’s religious systems as various means of acquainting ourselves with our true Spirituality must be horrified at how their teachings have been distorted to justify their very antithesis.
Parents who follow a particular faith most often raise their children in that faith. That is fine, Spiritually all religions are like different roads leading to the same reality (consider the similarities between the teachings of the great faiths). But in teaching your children the principles of your faith, also teach the existence of other faiths, and encourage them to have tolerance towards those who may believe differently to yourself.
It’s fine to raise your children with no faith, leaving them to make their own spiritual choices. Again, (subtly) point out that many people believe in different religions, and while their beliefs cannot be proven neither can they be disproven, and as such they are worthy of respect.
Most developed societies require that children undergo a lengthy period of formal education, providing a school system that fulfills this requirement, and taking children away from their parents for its duration. Schooling has its advantages and disadvantages. We inhabit a complex world in which certain basic school-provided skills, eg literacy and numeracy, are pretty much essential to make any progress. But a big problem with schooling that disaffects many (if not most) students is its one-size-fits-all approach, ie everyone gets the same experience regardless of individual characteristics. Much of the syllabus, particular through the high school phase, teaches the utterly irrelevant to the vast majority, and is thus viewed as a waste of time and energy, further alienating many. One wonders whether formalized schooling exists more to promote conformity than to expand individual potential.
As parents we can do two things. Firstly, participate in the PTA etc to try to make your children’s school more appropriate to the needs of them and others. Secondly, seriously consider whether the school system is appropriate for your child at all. If they don’t appear to enjoy it over a sustained period the answer is probably not. In which case consider alternatives, such as the rapidly growing home schooling option.
Above all enjoy parenthood. Don’t treat it as some great overwhelming chore in which success is impossible. When, as inevitably happens, you have tough calls to make, just step back and count to ten, consider the options, and go with your instinct. Parenting is a privilege; it’s fun. If your children are also your best friends then you’ve got it right.
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Filed in: self help, spirituality
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