Does Self-Help Really Help?

A recent episode of the BBC arts and culture series Imagine examined the huge and rapidly-growing self help industry. The Secret of Life started with presenter Alan Yentob watching recent blockbuster The Secret and declaring his skepticism by suggesting the only way to get rich from self help books is by writing one.

What follows is a journey through the self help business in the form of interviews with some of its leading gurus. Together they provide  an intriguing overview of what is meant by self help.

Writer and self help addict Amy Jenkins has a large collection of self help books and admits she begins her day reading self help in the way most people have a cup of coffee. Though the underlying messages occur repeatedly in different works, Jenkins believes it can be helpful to study different presentations. (more…)

Reasons to be Cheerful

Ever feel you spend most of you time and energy facing problems? Does life seem nothing more than an incessant stream of difficulties?

If so, take heart that you are not alone. According to American Psychological Association 54% of Americans are concerned about the level of stress in their everyday lives (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/19/AR2007011901430.html) while in the U.K. stress is believed to be responsible for 70% of visits to doctors, and 85% of serious illnesses (UK HSE stress statistics quoted at http://www.businessballs.com/stressmanagement.htm)

A major problem is that we tend to notice the negatives, while taking for granted (ie simply not noticing) the vary many positives that fill our lives.

It's the oldest cliché in the book, but a few moments taking stock of your many reasons to be cheerful really is a powerful antidote to depression and stress. Here's but a few suggestions to kick you off... (more…)

Hearing the Voice Within

Learning to hear one's inner guide (or little voice within) isn't so much acquiring a new skill as rediscovering a very old one.

As Spiritual beings we are naturally intuitive, naturally perceptive of those signals coming from the non-physical realms. But both as individuals, and as a species, the ability has been neglected, devalued, even ridiculed. (more…)

The Little Voice Within

This inner guidance system is known as many things: going with your gut, the little voice within, instinct, intuition etc. What it means is defying logic, reason, and analysis, the laws of probability etc to do something that seems absurd or irrational just because it feels right.

I think this is something that as a species we used to do a lot, but over time we've become more "civilized" and "sophisticated" (note the quote marks) and have somehow lost touch with our inner guidance system. We live in an age of reason, an era of unparalleled access to information and the computing power to supposedly make sense of it. Decision-making has never been so easy. And yet for all that, doesn't the gut reaction still have a place? Doesn't the resurgence of interest in so-called new age topics indicate that it does?

Never forget, we are not automata, but Spiritual beings undertaking but one leg of an infinite journey. We are not (totally) predictable, being blessed with free will. We are divine beings, remaining part of the great oneness from which we emanate, but also unique, idiosyncratic and imperfect.

By playing the odds we could probably go through life safely and comfortably with a steady job, steady spouse and 2 point something kids, average home in an average part of town, eventually drawing an adequate but unremarkable pension. But is that really what it's all about?

If we accept that this life really is just a tiny part of a much greater reality, a reality that continues regardless of our performance on this small stage, then surely our conscious goal ought to be the amassing of experience. And that comes from thinking and acting outside the box.

Before we're born we agree what the purpose of this life will be. But the memory of our choice is buried so deep we're unaware of it. We have free will, and encounter numerous distractions along the way. But life continually presents signposts nudging us in the right direction. These are external events; the tide that seems to push us inevitably towards certain things. They are also the gut instincts that tell us when something is right, or not.

Where does the gut get its info? It can come from our higher self, the eternal, Spiritual, part of our current being. It can also come from our many (Spiritual) guides and helpers who watch over our earthly journey with loving interest, who have our best interests at heart but who cannot directly interfere with our free will.

Interestingly, even hard-nosed businessman Donald Trump devotes a whole chapter of his book Think Big and Kick Ass in Business and Life to "Basic Instincts" or what he describes as "Go With Your Gut".

Should we choose to become more responsive to our little voice within we need to ensure that we are truly listening to our higher self or guides and not being driven by the emotions of our ego. This discernment gets easier with practice, once we stop dismissing such impressions as irrational nonsense. Lower emotions tend to be fickle, or obviously aimed at short-term gratification rather than lasting progression.

If, like most of us, you've ignored your inner guidance system for too long, you'll find your early experiences of it to be fallible as you misinterpret its messages, or confuse it with lower emotions. Over time it will pay dividends that more than compensate for early setbacks. The potential gains far outweigh the cost of early errors. So start listening to your gut today, you'll find it an invaluable ally on your chosen path.

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The Power of Thought

Thoughts are powerful things. Every one of man's achievements, from the greatest to the most insignificant, began with thought. As did every human atrocity.

Thoughts are a mind process. And mind is the interface between our transient earthly existence and our eternal Spiritual essence. Thoughts are like programs run on the biological supercomputer that is our brain. Their inputs come from both the physical and Spiritual realms, with their outputs interpreted by the Spirit within.

Thinking is like the planting of a seed. This seed has an energy that spreads like the ripples from a pebble tossed into a pool, touching all other entities. Not all thoughts blossom into reality, but all have the potential to. Their fruition (or otherwise) depends upon the strength of the initial thought, and the degree to which it is received and acted upon by those agencies necessary for its realization. Like magnets, thoughts tend to attract their content to the thinker.

Thought is therefore a double-edged sword for humanity.

By thinking, planning, holding and building a dream in ever-greater detail we are laying the foundations for that dream to become a part of our physical reality. This is the essence of the recent self-help blockbuster movie and book The Secret. If you want something enough, contemplate it enough, and believe in it enough, it will come true. The most successful thoughts are not mere academic musings, but are experienced with all the emotion as if they were already real, as taught in Napoleon Hill's classic Think and Grow Rich (read online - free).

But by the same principles so our fears and anxieties also tend to happen, and the more we dwell upon them, the more likely they are to become true. This is why we really do need to get our worries under control. If a situation concerns us, we need to analyze our concerns, identify what we can best do about them, and do those things. Having done this, in the knowledge we have done our best and can do no more, we must simply let go of the anxiety. We must not allow it to take root. 

The key is to master your thoughts, rather than allow them to master you. We all know how difficult it can be to try to hold our attention on one thing for longer than a few seconds; the mind continually wanders elsewhere. But with discipline,  perseverance, and a little meditation, our ability to do so can become stronger. Begin by setting some time, just a few minutes a couple of times a day, when you will think of some dearly-held dream. Make the schedule easy-to-follow, so you don't get sidetracked. You will soon witness the process becoming easier, even enjoyable. And remain ever vigilant for those destructive worries.

Thoughts are powerful things. Use them with care.

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Don't Worry, Be Happy

A few years ago an (irritatingly) catchy little tune called Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin was going the rounds. Once heard it took ages to get out of your head. But within that simple song lies a profound message; we spend way too much time worrying.

The thing about worrying is that no good ever comes of it. Worry dissipates your energies, diverting them from more constructive use. As we've got better at curing physical illness so it seems mental illnesses such as stress, depression, anxiety (essentially all aliases for worry) have expanded to fill the gap. And of course these conditions adversely affect physical health.

But even worse than that, worry is a form of thought. And as countless teachers have told thoughts are very powerful things. They tend to manifest themselves in reality. So by worrying, you actually serve to create the very thing you are worried about!

If something is bothering you all the worry in the world isn't going to help (and will most likely harm). Whatever it may be - money, work, relationships, kids, health, family... DO something about it. If the problem is money, start planning and budgeting a little better; if it's work, start checking the job ads or consider something more radical like self-employment or re-training; if it's health, eat healthy, exercise and follow the doctor's orders...

Sit quietly, take a few deep breaths, analyze what's wrong and what you can do about it. Don't be afraid to ask for help through prayer, or even from those you trust.

In most situations you'll have a choice of potential actions (including simply doing nothing and letting what will be just be). And for each, since we can't see the future, a range of possible outcomes - including the best, worst and most likely.

You'll now be empowered by knowledge. Decide what you're going to do. Then do it. And stop worrying, because you KNOW that you've done the best you could in the circumstances, and whatever happens you KNOW that you couldn't have done any better.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

Think back to childhood. I'm pretty sure you worried then too. Perhaps you forgot to revise for a class test, or maybe you got dropped from the football team, or your best friend didn't want to let you in a game... At the time didn't it seem the biggest problem in the world, but looking back don't your childhood worries seem inconsequential? And that's how today's worries will seem when reviewed in the world of Spirit. So stop worrying and be happy.

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Why are you so irrational?

How many times have you heard that, or even said it to others, in times of disagreement? Or its close relative, "Why can't you just be normal"?

But what is rational or normal? We might assume it's the most reasonable behavior, attitude, action etc that would be chosen by a computer - or even Star Trek's Mr. Spock - given all available information about the situation. But it isn't that simple. Sure, computers can make decisions given a set of inputs - however, they only base their decisions upon the program their running. Switch the program and the decision comes out different!

In reality there's no such thing as normal or rational. Only what's right for you. And since you're a unique individual that's likely to be different to what's right for someone else.

So what makes our individuality? It's a mixture of hard-wiring (genetics or how we're born) and upbringing (the environment in which we grew up). That said, our character never stops being made, we are affected by every experience throughout our lives. Usually these later experiences have an ever-so-subtle effect, but dramatic events can have a major influence, eg bereavement, being let down by someone you trusted completely...

Spirit individuates in physical form in order to broaden its experience. Everyone's basic character is determined (by them) before they are born. And everyone is different because if we were all the same life would be pointless. Experience comes only from the infinite variations arising from the interactions between diverse players.

The problem is that society has developed in such a way that sameness is valued more than difference. It pressures everyone to conform to the norm,  to buy the latest fashions or little plastic gadgets, to behave rationally.

Stop beating yourself up if you happen to think / act a little differently to the crowd. Don't try to be what you're not, be proud of who you are. And once you're able to respect yourself, extend it to others. Never condemn anyone for not being rational or normal or not matching your particular view of how they ought to be. The world's big enough for us all, and all the better for our differences.

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Why Life Sucks

Why does life suck? This is a question many of us ask at some time or another. Actually life doesn't really suck, but it can certainly feel that way sometimes.

Wouldn't it be great if everything ran smooth all the time, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed? Wouldn't it be great to land our dream job, doing what we love and large paycheck to boot? Wouldn't it be great if all our relationships ran smoothly, if our partner understood and respected our innermost feelings?

In fact, it wouldn't be so great at all. It might be nice for a little while, but pretty soon it would feel dull as dishwater. What's more, we wouldn't be fulfilling our true purpose in being born into this world, ie to learn and grow.

Many Spiritual philosophies tell that we choose our life path and lessons to be learned before we are born. Though we have free will on earth the choices we made appear throughout our lives.

It's true; some people have harder lives than others. But that is because they chose to experience those things.

Why would anyone choose hardship? Because in facing, defying, and overcoming adversity we gain much more experience than we ever could from plain sailing. Life is short - just think of a human lifespan compared to the age of the earth. When we eventually return home it isn't the inflated bank account, big houses and flashy cars that we carry with us. It is the lessons we learned throughout the adventure of incarnation.

Keeping the above in mind will give you the strength to keep going through the dark days when life really does appear to suck.

Perhaps it’s an issue of self-esteem. You've done something you feel bad about. Rest assured, to be human is to err. We've all done things that with the benefit of hindsight we wouldn't have done. None of us can reverse time. But we can resolve to do more right than wrong, more good than harm in future. And that is our raison d'etre, our purpose to not only continue but continue full speed ahead rather than decrying life's hardships. If we are here it is because we, and Spirit (God) have chosen that we are here and we have a duty to make the best of what is really a golden opportunity.

Human nature is such that we tend to notice only those things that trouble us or fail to meet our approval. How often do we wake in the morning and appreciate how good we feel? Probably not often enough. But if we happen to feel slightly under the weather we notice it like hell. If a business or service falls short of our expectations we are quick to complain, but how many of us bother to show our appreciation for a job well done? It's just the way we are.

It may be a cliché, but counting your blessings really can really be an eye opener when life seems to suck. Sit down somewhere quiet, pour yourself a drink and put on your favorite music. Now write down what's troubling you. Then take a new sheet of paper and write down all the positives in our life. You should find there are many more positives than negatives. Look again at your troubles and it should be easier to find solutions, or at least appropriate courses of action, for each of them.

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Just Do It!

John Greenleaf Whittier said: "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"

There are two kinds of regret, regret for things you've done, and regret for things you haven't. By far the worse is the regret for opportunities missed.

We only get one crack at life, in our present body and circumstances anyhow. Though possessed of free will we almost carry a God-given duty to make the best of our time on earth. No matter how rich or powerful they may be, nobody gets the chance to re-live time.

I always remember my father speaking of the things he wanted to achieve. Though he led a full life, many remained undone when he was eventually overtaken by illness and passed away. Perhaps if, instead of procrastination, he'd just gone out and done them his life would have been that bit fuller still...

It can be tempting to follow the safety and security of the well-trodden path, inactivity is easier than action and no one ever got fired for buying IBM and all that. Building dreams is a noble endeavor, but if they remain idle fantasy then they are nothing but costly distraction. By never venturing out of one's comfort zone, how much potential experience do we miss?

Sure, risks and adventures can go "wrong". But equally surely no adventure ever leaves its participants untouched by experience. And isn't that why we're all here, to experience, learn and grow.

I'm not advocating impulsive, random behavior - though even that has its place in experience accumulation. What I'm saying is that after making a choice - with one's heart and head - we must then take the plunge and carry it out. For whatever we find through the doors of choice our wealth of experience will certainly grow.

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Jung's Four Functions

Revolutionary psychologist Carl Jung suggested that in addition to extraversion/introversion we have four ways of functioning - sensing, intuiting, thinking and feeling. For each of us one of these is dominant. Jung's classifications form the basis of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, one of the most widely used contemporary schemes of personality assessment.

Just as we sit somewhere on an introversion-extraversion spectrum, so sensing and intuiting, and thinking and feeling also form ranges along which we are situated. The sensing-intuition range is about how we obtain information, whereas thinking feeling describes how we process it.

Sensing types give most weight to what they actually experience (through the senses). Facts, data, and detail form their guiding principles. They are life's skeptics. Seeing is believing, and if they can't see they don't believe.

Intuitives are more open to exploring ideas mentally. They are more concerned with the big picture than the minutiae. Intuition can also be thought of as the little voice within, that which tells you something is right even without, or in contradiction to, conscious analysis. It is the function of psychic awareness and mediumship; that which is closest to our Spiritual essence.

Feeling types will weigh information, making choices that give a greater internal harmony or satisfaction, ie which feel better. They may visualize themselves in various situations.

Thinkers apply logical analysis to the information at their disposal. They may apply numeric values and try to assess the probabilities of possible outcomes, eg the best case, worst case, and most likely scenarios.

All of the functions have a place in our being, and we should be able to use each when most appropriate, though we tend to have a preference for one (maybe two). But our prime function(s) can change over time, and according to circumstance. For example a normally logical, thinking type may fall back on emotion when under pressure and unable to analyze rationally.

The function that tends to be most under-developed in many is intuition, science favors that which can be measured and observed, and yet the Spiritually aware know that is but a small fraction of existent reality. And yet, unless highly developed (to a degree unattainable in a single lifespan) intuition alone is insufficient to survive and thrive and make the best of our time on the earth plane.

The most dangerous function is feeling, causing us to cast reason aside and doubt what reason says is right. It sacrifices long-term gain for short-lived gratification. And yet, even often-irrational feeling has its place in the equation, operating as a fallback when rationality is inconclusive.

What type(s) are you and why does it matter?

There are numerous personality tests available for free on the Web. These will give an indication of your primary function(s). Take a few as they may give different results. And accept only those results that agree with your instinctive self-analysis. For example:
http://www.similarminds.com/
http://www.humanmetrics.com/

Self knowledge is valuable because the human mind is fundamentally lazy. Once we settle into a function, either by birth or experience, the mind prefers running those same programs again and again without having to deviate from its algorithmic responses. Just think how much we operate on autopilot, we can go entire days without need for conscious intervention of the will.

But this isn't necessarily living to our highest potential. By knowing our inherent traits we can watch for their influence, and question the direction they drive us in. Perhaps we shall still choose that direction, but it will at least be a conscious choice.

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