Sacred Sexuality With A Divine Consort

by Rabbi Allen S. Maller

Solomon’s Song of Songs begins with: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth; for your love is more delightful than wine.” (1:1-2) Who is this bold, assertive female? What does she desire from her lover? How and why is this book of love song poems, so unlike the Book of Psalms, in our Sacred Scriptures?

Song of Songs is among the most difficult and mysterious books in the Bible for five reasons. First, on the Pshat (literal) level, it is very difficult to understand and translate the Hebrew text, because although it has only 117 verses, and 470 Hebrew words; 47 (10%) of these words appear in the whole Bible only in this collection of love-songs, that were sung or recited during wedding ceremonies in ancient Israel for centuries after the age of King Solomon.

Second, on the the Drash (moral) level, the title is both a superlative; the best of songs: and a collective anthology of songs, many of them containing strange and even weird metaphors. Thus, no one type of interpretation can be uniformly applied to the whole book. In some metaphors the male symbolizes God and in other metaphors the female embodies the Holy One. Failure to see the Goddess in the Song of Songs; and the attempt to ignore the great variety of songs; and see only the same message everywhere, has plagued most translations and commentaries.

Third, on the Sod (mystical) level, the exaggerated use of dramatic earthly metaphors in the Song of Songs was meant to disguise the deeper mystical and much more spiritual meanings of physical lovemaking. Both Jewish and Christian mystics have traditionally seen the interactive behavior between the two lovers as symbolizing the covenantal love between God and the People of Israel (Jewish) or between Jesus and the Church (Christian). (Pope pp. 89-132, 158-179)

Fourth, although according to the Remez (allegorical) interpretation, one of the two lovers is supposed to be God, none of the names for God, nor any of the usual appellation for God, ever appear explicitly in Song of Songs. Nevertheless, this symbolic understanding of the Song of Songs’ couple lovers relationship sexuality, probably originated from the disciples of the famous early second century legal scholar, Rabbi Akiba ben Joseph the convert, who proclaimed the Song of Songs to be the holiest book in the third section of the Bible: “all the Writings are holy, but the Song of Songs is the Holy of Holies.”  (Mishnah Yadaim 3.5).

Fifth, traditional commentators have been blind to the uniqueness of two song poems in the Song of Songs that describe the female body as a vertical tower connection between a now married loving couple and the Holy One of Israel. In the first five verses of chapter four there are, in descending order, eight stages of female attributes to experience; and in the first six verses of chapter seven there are, in ascending order, ten sacred female attributes to experience.

I think these two poems in the Song of Songs were designed to be a sacred sexual experience manual for married couples, to help them have religious experiences within marital intimacy. The eight descending female jewels, six above her neck and only one below, are for newly married couples; and the ten ascending jewels, five below her neck and four above, are for those whose marriages are more mature.

I also think this view of the importance of the female body as a vehicle of sacred sexuality is a mystical elucidation of the conceptual term ezer K’negdo in chapter two of Genesis. Please note the nature of Hebrew’s ‘two gender only’ grammar, does not mean that LGBT partners are excluded from using this sacred sex manual.

Most people erroneously think, that the Biblical account of God building a woman from Adam’s side; means literally from Adam’s rib. But the word mistranslated as rib in the Greek Septuagint, actually means side (for example Ezekiel 41:5,11 or Exodus 26:26, 27, 35).

Built seems to be a strange term to use, but the Hebrew word for side appears mostly (40 times) in the context of building a sacred structure. A wall or a corner, with only one side does not exist. A one sided building cannot shelter anyone. Adam with only one side was only half a man. Thus the Torah concludes, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)

Two sides become one whole. Two sides can stand together. Which side became the woman’s side? Probably the right side because Psalm 45:10 says, “A royal consort stands at your right side” This is why the bride stands at the grooms right side in a Jewish wedding ceremony.

The “royal consort” woman built by God is described as an “ezer k’negdo”- a helper corresponding to or equal to him i.e. a partner or a teammate. The right side does not differ greatly from the left side in bilateral creatures; but the two different sides of the human brain are complimentary psychologically, so perhaps she is the ‘inside’ and he is the ‘outside’.

This would symbolize a greater difference. Good partners bring different abilities and talents together. Thus, as partners, one plus one is greater than two. Even a skeptic like Kohelet declares, “If two lie side by side, they keep each other warm; but how can one keep warm alone?”               (Ecclesiastes 4:11) This is why God says, “ It is not good for a male to dwell alone. I will provide a helpmate partner for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

Genesis 2:18 says God made an ezer k'negdo for Adam (a Hebrew phrase meaning a helpmate opposite or against him); but the word ezer connotes strength and is usually used in reference to God's power to help (Psalms 33:20, 70:6, 115:9 and 146:5); so a better understanding of the term is that God created woman as a gift for mankind; she is to be a helpful force advising, guiding and when needed, restraining her partner.

Thus the rabbis taught that the term ezer k'negdo was used to teach that when her husband was right, his wife would be there to support him with her strength.... and when her husband was wrong, she would be there with her strength, to oppose or restrain him.

We live in a special generation because we have been blessed by a miraculous rise in female rabbis. The 2,500 year old prophecy of Jeremiah is being fulfilled before our eyes. “God will create a new thing on the earth- females will surround males.” (Jeremiah 31:22)

Now that female Rabbis are all around us, the details of sacred sexuality based on the fourth and seventh chapter of the Song of Songs can be revealed and understood by every loving couple that desires their sexuality to help them ascend the ten jewels (sapphires) of a (phallic) palm tree (with branches shaped like a female vulva) and experience a divine-human sacred relationship. The eight jewels in chapter four, add four additional ‘head’ jewels to increase thoughtful verbal interaction.

In this essay I will use chapter seven as my primary example and only mention now one set of glosses for the descending head jewels manual of chapter four. Eyes are listed first because they are an opening to her soul; and good lovers must always look into each others inner emotions and feelings.

Hair is her easily visible crowning glory and can extend from above her eyes to well below her neck. Traditionally a now married woman’s hair is covered in public and only revealed to her now blessed husband in private.

Her evenly matched teeth symbolize all foods and drinks that should be consumed only under her and her Torah’s guidance, for the “Torah of kindness is always on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26). Her thin lips and her tongue (designated quantity and type of food and drink) provide kisses sweeter than wine.

Her words (this is the literal translation although most translators mistranslate it as mouth) as pleasant enrichment should always be “held tight”. Her cheeks are like a pomegranate’s smooth surface, smoothing out life’s rough spots. Her neck is like a strong tower that connects distant visions from above with maternal nourishment and love below.

Each lover of each couple should focus on opening their own personal yearnings and goals while descending her body’s jewels, as well as the couples joint goals; as determined during the week by the wife and on Shabbat and Yom Tov by the husband.

Now let’s turn to the sacred sexual manual’s ten ascending feminine jewels for a more mature couple. The general description of  sacred sexuality is:

“How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, with all your delights!
Your (upright) stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters.
I say, I will ascend the palm tree and lay hold of its fruit.
Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine, the scent of your breath like apples,
and your mouth like the best wine.
It goes down smoothly for my beloved, making the lips of sleepers speak.
I am my beloved's and his desire is for me.” (Song of Songs 7:8-11)

The above is my translation of the last part of the ten sapphire metaphor. Note that unlike the Kabbalistic ten Sephirot, that descend in a three column male form (Adam HaKadmon) of constantly reduced spirituality from Keter to Malchut: the Song of Songs ladder ascends in a single female column of continually aroused sacred sexuality to marital holy of holiness:

2. Your sandaled feet (1) are beautiful, O prince’s daughter!

Your curvy thighs (2) like jewelry, the work of an artist’s hands.

3. Your vulva (3) is an oval goblet that never lacks blended wine.

Your belly (4) a mound of wheat encircled by lilies.

4. Your breasts (5) are like two fawns, twin fawns of a gazelle.

5. Your neck (6) an ivory tower. Your eyes (7) pools of Heshbon by the gate of Bat Rabbim.

Your face (8) is (glorious) like the tower of Lebanon overlooking Damascus.

6. Your head (9) crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair (10) like a royal tapestry; captivates a king in its tresses. (Song of Songs 7:2-9)

Using the female palm tree form; we embrace (in ascending order): (1) beautiful feet -Malkhut; (2) curvy thighs/hips -Yesod/Zaddik; (3) vulva-Hod; (4) belly -Nezah; (5) breasts -Gevurah; (6) neck -Tiferet: (7) eyes -Hesed; (8) face- Binah; (9) head -Hochmah and above all hair-locks Keter (10) a royal tapestry; with a captivated king in her tresses.

It is up to each loving couple (“All females are in the shelter of the Shekhinah”  Zohar vol. 1, 228b) to tenderly explore the pathways listed above. Remember, the following female led, sacred sexual, meditation is both spiritual and physical.

A wife who desires to enable her husband to fulfill the Mitsvah of holy coupling can direct him to begin by kissing, caressing, creaming and massaging her feet (Song of Songs 7:2). Then she should direct him to slowly and reverently work his way up (through her three miraculous means of creation; vagina, mountain high belly when pregnant, nursing breasts) to her neck (an ivory tower of strength, steadfastness, and willpower) that connects her body to her head, and up to her head’s crowning locks of hair that entangle a king/husband, (7:6) thus allowing him to climb the palm tree of life (7:9) and perform the spiritual unification (Tikun) below, which is woven into a holy of holiness Tikun above.

Or she can direct him to begin descending by first carefully combing her hair with a hairbrush she has selected for him; and then show reverence and respect for her head/mind by listening closely to her thoughts and desires before proceeding downwards and then rise up from her feet.

These two directions reenact the vision of Jacob: “He dreamt, and beheld a ladder set up on earth with its top reaching heaven; and behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it.” (Genesis 28:12)

The neck/tiferet is the connection between the five lower sapphire jewels that are mostly non-verbal, and the upper four sapphire jewels that are mostly verbal.

The well known Kabbalist Moses Cordovero states in Deborah’s Palm Tree (Jacobs p.117): “Man stands between the two females, the physical female (his wife) who receives from him food, clothing and sexual activities; and the Shekeenah who stands above him to bless him with these (3 things) which he, in turn, gives to his covenantal wife.”

Rabbi Ezra ben Solomon of Gerona, a student of Isaac the blind, in his commentary on Song of Songs, identifies the male lover with the sixth Sifirah (Tifferet) and his (female) lover with the tenth Sifirah (Malkhut/Shekeenah)

And as Rabbi Akiba ben Joseph the convert, taught: “Husband and wife: if they are worthy, Shekeenah abides between them; if not, fire consumes them.” (Talmud: Sotah 17a)

Louis Jacobs, The Palm Tree of Deborah  London 1960 133 ps.

Marvin Pope, Song of Songs (Anchor Bible series) 1977 741 ps.

Rami Shapiro, Embracing the Divine Feminine: Finding God through the Ecstasy of Physical Love-The Song of Songs Annotated & Explained 176 ps.

Filed in: externally authored, religion, spirituality

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