Why Can't I Be Happy?
abracad, · Categories: self help, spiritualityMany people feel that happiness somehow eludes them. Whatever they do, whichever new directions they take they cannot reach that most fundamental goal of human existence. Is happiness a gift granted only to some? Or is it within everyone's grasp, if only they knew how to find it.
Happiness isn't a place, time or certain configuration of external circumstances. It isn't a destination reached after a long and arduous journey. Happiness is a state whose potential is always there, here and now included, but one which too often we fail to realize. This article examines why, in the hope that more people may be happy more often.
Perfectionism is drilled into us from an early age. Perhaps parents want to live unfulfilled dreams through the achievements of their kids? Or schoolteachers feel they're not doing their job if, even in offering the highest praise, they don't also point out areas for improvement? And while our lives fall short of perfection we can't stop to be happy. But perfection is a myth.
We're born flawed, and though we may strive toward perfection in numerous areas of our lives it's a quest that never ends. Be happy in the knowledge you're doing your best. You'll fall short many times, but be happy in the lessons learned. Life's not all work. Make time for yourself, family, and friends, time to just do what you want with no purpose other than having fun!
Unhappiness can bring a kind of comfort in the form of purpose. The pursuit of happiness gives us reason for being. Subconsciously we may fear the attainment of happiness would remove that purpose, thus rendering our existence meaningless. It goes like this, we work our socks off for years and finally we get the house on the beach, the sports car in the garage, and enough money in the bank to last ten lifetimes. But where's our purpose now? The world has enough need that no living being may ever be of no further use. Don't be afraid of happiness, for the happy soul is infinitely more open to opportunities than his unhappy brother.
Do you deserve happiness? Surprisingly many feel they don't. These unfortunate folk have done some wrong in their lives, and try as they might the burden of guilt weighs heavily upon their conscience. To paraphrase the Master, let he who is without sin raise his hand. Got your hand up? I thought not. As Jesus so rightly knew, we all make mistakes; all do things hindsight tells us we shouldn't have.
What's done is done. Beating yourself up can't reverse the past. But trying to learn from, and in some way put right, past errors is a fundamental reason for being. The mistakes we make are clues to the particular purpose we were born for. And even those who err have the right - and duty - to seek happiness. And since we all err, that means you!
Live for the moment. Buddha wisely observed that pleasure is short-lived. What we enjoy today will be gone tomorrow (or sometime in the future). Our instinctive knowledge of the inevitability of change (including our own) threatens to cast a shadow over present joy. Don't let it. Tomorrow is a closed book that will be revealed in its own time. Put your blinkers on and enjoy what's happening right now. This is all that is real.
Life is hard. And the more purposeful the life, the harder the journey. But life is also bursting with opportunity to be happy. If you like, think of happiness as a reward for the many difficulties we'll doubtless experience. Failing to be happy is like working all week but neglecting to collect your wages. Stop blocking life's pleasures, you've earned them.
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Filed in: self help, spirituality
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