Stop Rewriting History
abracad, · Categories: self helpAs human beings (or rather Spiritual beings dressed in human clothes) we have a tendency to analyze ad nauseam.
In many respects this is advantageous, and places us one step ahead of our animal brethren, with whom we share the planet. It enables us to learn from the past, both our own and that of our entire race. It allows us to rationally consider and weigh future potentialities and, having done all this, it allows to plan the most appropriate action(s) in the present.
But our analysis isn't always as logical/rational as we might imagine. For a start, our memory doesn't carve our experiences into slates of stone. Instead, it's more like a magnetic computer disk in which documents (reminiscences) are easily tinkered with each time they are reviewed, often in light of later experiences. The problem is that by retrofitting explanations to what went before, to make it consistent with what came after, the lessons to be learned are lost.
We often retrofit to make the present more comfortable. As humans we make mistakes, and the consequences of those mistakes can be painful. To ease that pain we try to justify why we made them. A trivial example is someone injuring a pedestrian in a car accident while changing the radio channel. Naturally they feel guilty at the suffering they caused but try to relieve that guilt by offloading it; say their boss asked them to work overtime, so they were tired and lacked concentration. Learning not to change channel while driving might be a valuable life experience, but by retrofitting they miss the point, and risk repeating the error. Remember, the sole purpose of analyzing the past is to help yourself. The sole recipient of your findings is you.
Keep a for your eyes only diary/journal. Not only can such a document be therapeutic in helping you work through what's on your mind, it can be even more valuable in avoiding the rewriting history problem when you review it at a later time. Modern technology gives the freedom to be completely honest with yourself by keeping your diary in encrypted electronic form (eg password protected Word doc), so you need never again fear your innermost thoughts falling into the wrong hands.
Create quiet space and time for reflection. Mentally transport yourself back to key moments in your life. Relive the feelings as though you are there again.
Try to stand outside yourself, review the past as a dispassionate observer. Imagine yourself being interviewed. Produce a series of questions that you want answered, without attempting to answer them at the time. Tackle the questions, and review the events, several times over. See if/how they differ.
The acquisition of self-knowledge is one of our greatest quests in life. When you buy a new car, you doubtless take time familiarizing yourself with the features and controls. But a human being is vastly more complex than a car, both physically and psychologically, and it doesn't come with an owner's manual. Complete self-familiarization can take a lifetime, but its advantages are incalculable.
It's a rare gift to be able to truly analyze oneself and one's past without prejudice. But the rewards of doing so are so great that it's well worth the effort to acquire.
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Filed in: self help
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