Relationship- A beautiful aspect of life

abracad, September 1, 2012 · Categories: externally authored, self help

By Lt Col R K Langar

Introduction

Relationship with others is a beautiful aspect of life. It is expressed in doing, speaking and most importantly thinking good about others. We all belong to one God and there is one world family and hence we are related to one another. It is also said that no one is a stranger in the world and make the world your own. Good relationship with others can only be formed on the basis of your inner beauty and virtues which should be expressed in your conduct with others. Body may attract a relationship in the beginning but it is oneâ€™s personality anchored on your inner virtues which really sustains a good relationship. Modesty is the key for a successful relationship. Self management is another factor which not only sustains a relationship but also ensures that the relationship is not spoiled.

Self management in relationship

Your first relationship is with your own self. What does that imply? Accept yourself as you are. Unless you do that you cannot accept others as they are. Accepting yourself means that you understand yourself, know your self worth, be aware of your moral and spiritual qualities. If you are lacking in virtues like love, loyalty, faithfulness, then you must acquire these by changing yourself for becoming a good human being. Be alive with every moment and enjoy it. Enjoy your company which is only possible if you are virtuous and beautiful from inside. When you enjoy your company you would get a feeling of completeness and not emptiness. Manage your insecurities if any. Forgive those who may have been unjust to you. Do not nurse your hurt. Do not surrender your values for nourishing a relationship.

Expectations spoil relationship

One who is spiritual, develops a loving and affectionate relationship with all as he considers others as an extension of his own self. Such a person focuses only at the goodness and beauty of others as he himself has developed an eye to see only good of others. But sometimes our relationship gets spoiled since we expect from others for maintaining it. Expectation from others create dependency on when others fail to satisfy our expectations, we feel frustrated. Expectation is the mother of all problems. The worst type of expectation is emotional expectation. Expectations put you on a wanting mode and make you emotionally ill. Therefore never expect from others in maintaining good relationship. Nurture your relationship will others on the basis of your inner beauties or virtues. Accept others as they are. Do not expect people to live up to your expectation, when you accept others as they are, others will be influenced by you.

Giving life to relationship

Bad relationship is the cause of stress. To avoid this always give life to your relationship with others. For maintaining good relationship think that you love to learn from others. Always look at the good qualities of others and you will invariably find them in others. With words appreciate the good qualities which you see in others. Using your communication skill express sweetness which is inside you, through your words. Always be a giver in relationship. Give love, show concern, sincerity honesty, maturity and respect in your relationship with others. Friendship is the basis of all relationship. Be friendly, fair, frank and flexible in maintaining the relationship. Let there be no secret relationship with others. Keep your life like an open book which others can read and know you comprehensively. Give transparency to your relationship. Have the conviction that you can speak with love with others even if they do not speak with love to you. Relationship should never be taken for granted. A little formality and respect is essential to nurture Â a relationship.

Manâ€™s foremost responsibility is to maintain good relationship with his family members. No matter what you have done for yourself or for humanity, if you cannot give proper attention to your family members then what have you really accomplished. Family is your mini society for relationship. If you fail to live a good life with your family you will also fail to live a good life in society. Our greatest power or asset is our spiritual energy. When you are spiritually elevated you develop a loving and affectionate relationship with all as others are extension of your own self. Relationship based on good feelings is reflected through your eyes, smile and open heart.

Relationship problems and solutions

Your relationships with others do get spoiled sometimes and you get a feeling of hurt and blame others for it. This is your belief which has affected you only and not the other person. Now who will decide that he or she has hurt you or you have hurt him or her. If you have allowed yourself to be hurt by others it is because of your expectation from the other due to your selfish desire. If you are hurt it clearly shows that your protection for yourself is not that strong as it has been pierced by others. May be the other person who has annoyed you has come to increase your tolerance power and acceptance capacity and make you more flexible. Another way to look at your hurt feelings is that your life is not fully under your control and you are at the mercy of external situations and circumstances. That should never happen in the case of a spiritually elevated person. Outer conditions should not affect you. It is your inner growth that should dictate the outer conditions.

The best solution to the relationship problems is to allow people to be what they want to be. Accept others as they are but do not accept any pain which you feel they have caused you. If you still feel you are hurt tell God. In fact surrender all your sufferings to God and you would feel light. Also continue to transmit positive vibrations to those who hurt you and you will get positive vibrations back from them sooner or later. There should be a free flow of energy in relationship. If there is bitterness it shows that you are not properly connected with others. Secondly when you operate out of love and compassion with others, you mayÂ not have to struggle much in maintaining cordial relationship with others. Other problem in spoiled relationship could be the ego, display of bad behavior and anger. Do not carry forward annoyance in relationship. Learn the technique as to how to forget it. Â If you are hurt in relationship it shows that some portion of your inside is empty. The golden rule is that your have to make yourself strong from inside. Make your inside more virtuous and beautiful. The Gita says that God loves those who are not troubled by the world.

Relationship with God

Your most important relationship is with God almighty. This is the primary relationship. All other relationships are secondary. God is your father, mother, your spiritual guide and most importantly your friend. Talk to God, share your problems with God and you will invariably find a solution. Every act which you perform should be offered to God and you will ever remain protected.

Conclusion

Harmonious relationship is one of the important aspects of a happy life. Healthy mind helps us to form Good relationship with others. Friendship is a trustworthy relation and a tool to cure dislike for other and promote peace. Be a giver in relationship always and every time. Be like a sun in relationship which gives sunshine to all who are good and also who are not good. Nature does not differentiate between one person and another while giving. Be like a tree which gives shade to all irrespective of man inner qualities. Be like a river which gives water to all. Lastly show compassion in relationship which is love for a person more than what he deserves. Change conflict into harmony with patience for a relationship to run smoothly.