Building Up Self Esteem
abracad, · Categories: externally authored, self helpby LT Col RK Langar
Self esteem means feeling good about one self. It is an understanding that we are worth something regardless of criticism, blame or adverse judgment by others on us. Self esteem is the belief that that we have the potential to do something good in whatever condition we are placed. It is a feeling of self worth which convinces us that we can contribute towards the well being of others. Self esteem is a firm belief on our personal values on which we stand like a rock without any compromise. When we build up self esteem we do not require any certificate from others as to how good we are. At our ordinary level of existence we feel better when people tell us what we want to hear about ourselves. We all waste part of our life in attempting to display those qualities which we do not possess. Swami Vivekananda goes to the extent to say that nine-tenth of our life energy is spent in trying to make people think which we are not. But when we develop self esteem we do not order our life based on the opinion of others and we stay natural as we are. With self esteem we stay out of artificiality and do not regulate our life to please others.
Self esteem needs to be differentiated from self pride or personal ego. When we have self pride or when we rely on our personal ego, we consider ourselves superior to others and with this feeling we get disinclined to mix up with people around us. A man with self esteem has no such pride and he reaches out to people with a hand of friendship whosoever they are. He gives comfort to those who come in his contact. You may not be able to control the atmosphere around you but you can better your life by building self esteem. Only you can decide what you feel about yourself, how you behave, how to stay positive and self respecting. People will only disrespect you when you disrespect yourself. Again people would love you when you learn to love yourself. This is what self esteem is all about.
More natural we are more self esteem we shall develop. More self esteem we develop more close shall be move towards self perfection. When we pretend and make people think of us what we are not further we move away from our natural state and then feeling good about ourselves remains a distant idea. Another important aspect of building self esteem is that we should create some merit within us. If nothing else we should become truthful and pure in our thoughts words and deeds. If requires no self effort but just mindfulness that refrains from falsehood. As we develop truthfulness we require purity of heart. With truthfulness comes honesty and straight forwardness. With truthfulness comes simplicity which can be applied in all walks of life. A truthful person is held high in the eyes of others.
Love yourself. Only if you love yourself you can distribute love to others. Self love is not selfishness. Self love is self acceptance, self appreciation and self compassion. A bit of appreciation for your own self is wanted when you do something good. This is how self love would grow. When you love others you are bound to receive love from others in higher proportion.
Judge yourself but do not sit on the judgment of others. Judging yourself enables you to find your faults and correct them. One can easily perceive the faults of others but to perceive faults of your own self is difficult because one has a tendency to hide own faults. When you correct your faults you start getting to feel that you are not unworthy and your life is not irrelevant. Then you do not fear obstacles but face them considering them as opportunity to grow. When you grow your past fades away and then you are free to accept new opportunities to uplift yourself. When we develop self esteem we realize that no one can harm you accept you yourself. You also decide how people will behave with you. It is you who is responsible for all that happens to you. It is you who makes yourself sad or bright and not circumstances outside yourself. Only a person with low self esteem will be affected by outer conditions.
If one in inclined towards religion or spirituality one’s efforts to build self esteem get a boost. Then you realize that God has a definite role for you to play in the world. Even if you are not inclined towards religion or spirituality you can still build up self esteem by relying on you good qualities. When one becomes good, one acquires sincerity and selflessness. Swami Vivekananda says that good motives, sincerity and infinite love can conquer the world. One single soul possessed of these virtues can destroy the dark designs of millions of hypocrites and brutes.
An extremely important trait of positive personality is to develop an ability to learn lessons from life to improve our self’s.  Life is a school and earth is a big Class Room. Living is for learning and learning makes you knowledgeable and voice.
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Filed in: externally authored, self help
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